messenger|radiant

I dream
myself
in your
eyes.

Imagine your lips
warm on my skin,
your kiss
soft and slow;
want
nothing more
than to
lose myself
in you.

Help me
break free
from me.
Liberated
and bound,
beginning
and ending
encircled
in your arms.

A thousand
forevers
surrender
to the heat
of one moment
so close
to you.

into

The night skims my skin,
runs cool fingers through my hair
and then lies quiet,
pressed close against me.

I climb the day
moment by moment
to reach this moment
when boundaries melt away
and I dissolve in you.

Touch my heart
so it beats only for you
and let it sing the rhythm
of us
for always.

touching

Steeped in sleep
dancing on the edge of dreams
drifting in and out of you.

Balanced between the worlds
unconcerned where I come to rest
as long as I'm surrounded
with you.

contingent

Shapes traced on a page,
letters arranged just so;
lying quiet and still.

The heat of your eyes,
the wisdom of your touch,
brings them alive;
infuses them with meaning;
gives their frail lines strength
to hold this universe
that flows between
us.

But we are the source;
they take shape
in our hands
and when we breathe life into them
no longer,
those letters collapse
and rattle behind us
dry and hollow;
and we walk through life
shackled to an empty word.

fade

Floating on waves of moonlight,
I recognize your voice.

Not in the sounds of the dark
falling in soft whispers on my ears,
but in the warmth of your caress
tracing messages on my listening heart.

In my yesterday,
words were
stepping stones.
Smooth under my feet,
they led me to you.
They lie behind me now,
abandoned;
childish things,
no longer needed
to reach you,
no longer able
to contain this love
poured out to you.

Now liberated,
unfettered by words,
my heart moves to you;
surges unrestrained,
breaking upon your shore
and falling into you;
immersed and reborn
in you.

And for that blissful eternity of the moments,
I am lost in you.
Far beyond the snares of time,
out of the world's reach,
alone with you,
set free from me.
We are
one.

40:3 nights

The hands of the wind
shape the spinning sand,
casting new masks
for old faces.

I hear your voice
and I long to come to you;
free myself from the hands that bind me,
but ever and again
locked tight in their embrace,
I seek comfort in bondage
when the lightness of freedom
seems too much to bear.

Taste the words on my lips,
for you alone understand
the language of my heart,
and speaking without a sound,
we draw ever closer.

In this moonless night,
you shine in my darkness
and I can see your footprints
leading to the edge of the world.
With the sand warm under my feet,
I'm ready to let go -
and with empty hands,
I follow.

forsake

Who are you
when you close your eyes?

In the dark,
warm in my arms;
no longer bound
by whispers,
free from eyes,
what stories do you tell you about you
before you surrender
to the heavy night
and float soft away
with dream-swept hair?

And the night swirled
round his words
as they mingled with the moon's light.
Then I heard my voice say,

Who am I
when you close your eyes?

center

If I could escape the world,
throw off their hands,
the hands that gather pieces of me,
that mold and shape me
til I no longer recognize me,
would I feel your hands?

If I could hide my eyes,
shut out the flicker of their faces,
the faces that wear masks of
heartache and joy,
longing and bliss,
would your face emerge?

If I could find asylum,
shelter from the downpour of their words,
the words that soak thru my soul,
and step into silence;
would I finally hear your voice?

Or, by pulling from them,
am I pushing you away?
Constantly chasing what I hold
on the tips of my fingers,
an arm's length and an eternity away.

hero

I wonder
sometimes
how I could
be part of that;
that light
that beauty
that warmth.

As time
washes over us
I begin
to realize
it's because
as much
as I have to teach,
I have
even more
to learn.

polymnia

We wade in the shadows,
as moonlight drips wet from the leaves.

No longer obscured by the light of day,
fields of angels begin to shine
for our eyes this night.

And right now, I'm watchful;
wide-eyed aware.
Ready to dream;
exploding wise
in the here with you.

Sing me a story,
rocked gently by your voice, I follow;
walking the tightrope of your footprints
as you call the tune.

Made pure in the new of the moon,
with eyes for the horizon.
The path bright beneath our feet.

So many miles we can travel
before we run out of night.

demosthenes

Clothed in perfumed silk,
adorned with precious stone,
walking the fine line between
the heavens and the sand,
I call your name.

My footprints carried to sea
by the water's rise and fall;
pebbles smooth on my tongue
and my voice against the thunder,
I call your name.

Alone in the moonless night,
the words die one by one.
Then, speaking without a sound,
my heart calls your name
and you answer.

ocean|us

On my knees
on swaying sand,
rocked, encircled
caressed
by the blissful crushing
rhythm of the waves.
Freed from me,
awash in dreams
floating to radiant white,
set adrift in you.

mauvaise foi

one day i imagined i was just pretend
so i looked for my reflection
and i thought i found myself
faded in the soft edges
of the world but
i couldn't be sure

in the end it hurt less
to let your words coil around me
succumb to their tight embrace
and be a silent witness
as you chose pieces of me
to fashion into something
you said proved me real

vigilia

I close my eyes;
breathe backwards
to six.

Smell of candlelight,
the thread tying
me to me.

A child, covering my eyes,
sure that I'm hidden from you.

A woman, ready to see and be seen,
I wait for you.

Alone in the dark,
I keep watch by the glow
of silent prayers.

newton's third

Dream me into being.
Your mouth soft on me
brings me warm to life.

Time against you is sweeter.
I breathe the sunlight on your skin,
fingers tangled in your hair.

My name is made new on your lips;
a lyric that sets me apart
and makes me your own.

The world was born with us
but fades slow away
as I seek sanctuary in your eyes.

a soul apart

I watch light collect,
forming my reflection
in eyes that have never seen me.

Alone together,
worlds apart,
we close our eyes;
lie ourselves to sleep.

'Til the day
we wake up new
in an old room;
you and I
forever changed
in the middle of normal.

shift

Now, after old idols
have been shattered
and swept away,
I surrender to you
an emptied heart;
shelter formed by my hands;
a place within me
you may dwell.

Touch my eyes
and give me sight
to see the walls I fashioned
give you sanctuary,
rather than hold me captive
in a prison of my own making.

emmaus road

I dream you incomplete;
foreign to my eyes,
recognized by my heart.
Indistinct, yet intimate.

Maybe it's me that's undone;
looking through yesterday's eyes,
a child seeing kaleidoscope.

All the sounds, thoughts, images
scatter and coalesce into pictures of you,
inscribed on the heart that burns within me.

A cryptic message; strange, unfamilar.
But as I begin to decipher the language of me,
you are slowly made known.

I am a student of you;
seeking myself in you.
Letting go of childish things
to pray with open hands.

broken

...and now for something completely the same

I'm too tired to explain.
The words are on the tips of my fingers,
just out of reach,
floating somewhere in that fraction of an eternity
separating heaven and earth;
where you'll find me,
lost in translation.

Thinking anyone speaks the language
is always my greatest mistake.
And maybe that's the key to everything,
but I've lost the will to ponder.

I'm exhausted in the question.
I'm not looking so much any more for a solution;
I'd settle for an escape.

Still, I can't keep from wishing for someone
who will decipher the pattern in the pieces of me
and realize I'm not defined by that brokenness,
but by the shine.

am|vernacular

Long into the quiet night,
the world sleeps
and I wait.

The silence is alive,
wrapped snugly around me.
Your breath soft and warm on my ear.

Speak tenderly to my heart,
words that belong to me alone.
The language of night.

Hand in hand, over the sands we walk;
dreaming of dreaming
with open eyes.

For those few hours
we watch together,
our faces to the stars.

Too soon, the brilliance of day blinds me.
The din of a thousand voices
drowns yours.

The light and sound
put too many miles between us,
and once again I am alone.

Until the night seeps across the sky;
until the moon and the shadows
take their place.

When I will listen for your voice,
calling me into the desert;
into our night.

philo*kalia

Help me slip my bonds, make my pilgrimage.
A moment alone with you is all I desire.
Meet me in secret, in the silence of my heart.

I speak to you softly.
Your name, a prayer on my lips.
The only word I need,
the language of my soul.

Have mercy on me.
Forever stay with me here;
alone, you and I.

The hum of the world playing softly in the background.

donne 8:26

In the long past midnight quiet,
the moon’s light sways broken on the water.
In motion, unmoved.

My heart struggles in vain;
trying to render its longing into marks on a page.
My plea to an intimate stranger.

Lay your hand warm on mine and guide it.
Press your heart close to me.
Feel my yearning, too deep for words,
and be my translator.

Come with me.
Alone together, we’ll walk to the edge of the sand;
set the message adrift.

Stay with me. Plead for me.
Pray the currents carry my voice
to one who will rescue me.

rlu(afterglow)

You speak to my eyes
and I can't look away.

Drawn to that warmth you radiate;
want to be one step closer than close.

Just near enough to bump me out of this orbit,
so I can abandon myself to the unsteadiness.

And, after you're gone,
I still manage to shine for a time.

four

In the moment she stretched out, gliding over the water,
she disclosed more than the countless pages I've read.
She showed me that sometimes you must fly in the face of reason.
Leap to freedom, leaving the security of solid ground behind.
I watched her land with a splash and a smile that rivalled the sunlight.
Totally oblivious to the fact that there were others left behind
whose timid hearts do not beat as loudly as hers.
Those resigned to forever cling to the shore, chattering about how cold the water must be.

ramari

Live in the question
...just don't die there. :)

bare feet

My feet, by chance, fell upon the path.
Following those who walked before me,
leading the way to sacred ground.

I recognized you in the chant.
Felt your spirit pass through mine,
leaving my body intact, my world in pieces.

Outside time, beyond description, it is.

The freedom of being proved a burden too heavy to bear.
Stringing letters into words, weaving words into shackles,
again seeking comfort in my captor’s embrace.

One day, though, I will be free.
Unfettered, these bare feet will again find the path.
Walk out of the world as we know it, and into the world as it is.

capacity

Quiet the universe;
whisper softly in my ear.
Let all that is mine radiate you,
so I no longer recognize myself
except in you.

abdicate (radio edit :-)

Tie me up with your words.
Your mouth soft and warm on my fingers,
breathing fingerprints into the clay.

I’ll submit; become what your eyes see when they search me.
Take shape in the heat of your gaze.

If I’m not what you envision, begin again;
Do anything but abandon me;
for I no longer exist except reflected in your eyes.

Look upon me, tell the world who I am,
because I‘m desperate to know.

Wondering if you’ll see your creation and pronounce it good.

3am

Is it the sound of your voice that causes me to stir;
Beckoning to me softly while I sleep?
Gently, insistently calling me forth from my dreams.
I feel you behind them, beneath them…within me.
Even as the remnants of those images fragment and dissolve,
I can hear you whispering. Feel you drawing me to you.
My heart grabs me by the hand like a child, insistently tugging me toward you.
Just as a flower seeks the sun, absorbs its radiant love and nurturing,
There is a part of me, known only to you.
Small. Hidden.
That spontaneously turns to you
Confident you alone can supply what I need.
Knowing you dreamed a dream of me,
Long before my dreams dissipate and I reach for you
at 3 am.

midwife

Darkness danced across my soul on spider’s feet.
Silky strands of melancholy trailing, marking her path.
I was tempted to soak up her shadows, make her my own.
Instead I set her free, and in doing so, helped give birth to the light.

secret

The mind clutches her child tightly; unwilling to let her go.

The journey from head to heart is a thousand miles.
Across a lifetime measured out in a thousand wrong turns.
A thousand pilgrimages made to a thousand shrines of gods who collapse under the weight of undeserved adoration.

If the message does arrive, will it find a heart too broken to hold it;
Hold that desire for you?
For union; for revelation.

For that divine spark that will grow into an all-consuming fire
that burns so bright that it will overwhelm all doubt and obliterate all pain.

Remove every thing that stands between me and you.
Purify me so that my heart is worthy to hold you;
made capable of loving you.
Ready to hear your secret:
we are now and always were, one.

never

Lifetimes I’ve waited to touch you.
Your skin burns hot against me,
the moment lost in us as the world turns ever so slow.
Time becomes fluid, hot, heavy; rubs against us, curls around us, draws us closer.
No longer any need for measure; this is the center.
Everything flows to and from it.
Our hearts resonate, one against another.
I’m lost in your eyes, made pure in their heat.
Ready to be healed.
Dizzy with the smell of your skin, my fingers linger on your lips.
Not discovering, but confirming; substantiating.
Wandering the familiar landscape of a thousand dreams.
I wonder if the universe can contain this ocean swelling within me
as our lips touch and I awake.

soren

"If you label me, you negate me"
Adjudicate, eviscerate me.

I substitute your judgement for my own;
do all I can to atone
for all the wrongs that you insist
are really there and I've just missed.

Your perception becomes my fact;
dictates how I think, feel, act.
While the real me slowly smothers
beneath conjecture (yours and others).

So now I stand before you and wait...
Open your mouth, seal my fate.

name ii

You summon me into existence,
your mouth articulate on my skin.

Your lips so close, I can no longer comprehend.
The warmth of your whisper renders the words exotic.

My name on your tongue is an incantation;
For now and forever, I belong to you.

covenant

Try as I might to turn away, reject you
You seek me out
Through the rays of sunlight suffusing the blinds, bringing light to my darkness;
Through my child’s eyes, where I recognize you, seeing me;
Through a thousand things, at once insignificant and profound.
Give me eyes to discern the sacred in the profane;
the realization there is no profane, that all is sacred.
Instill in me awareness of your love.
Unfettered. Unwavering.
In you, I will gain strength to accept it
and pray for the grace to return it
in some small measure.

unseen

You look at me and you don't see;
blinded by your apathy.

Easier to turn away,
than listen to the words I say.

We all know when it comes to me
you pick and choose the things you see.

You don’t see “Mommy”, you look at mother;
You see the wife, but not the lover.

See a disciple, overlook the mystic;
Label me narcissistic.

You note my silence and think me mute;
Consider my substance so minute.

It’s hidden from you in plain sight;
You make out my darkness, but miss my light.

Like the leper, deemed unclean.
Not segregated, just unseen.

heavy

Have you noticed how the laws of gravity
seem tilted in your favor?

Words carry more weight when they strike me.
Once knocked down, the earth holds me tighter.

Yet, sometimes I do manage to defy gravity.
Occasionally hold the laws of physics at bay.

And, for a time I’m one with the wind,
light & free.